A message from Anonymous
I can't do anything restrictive either... I did Keto for a bit and it made me feel great but I was obsessing too much about macros and calories. I stopped counting altogether and I got rid of my scale. It's working. I don't think about food as numbers anymore, or at least it's easier. Glad im not the only one.

Oh hey anon feel free to ever come off anon if you want because these are my feels exactly. You are very very much not alone on this. 

I couldn’t take selfies at the gym because people were changing (fucking basic assholes using the locker room for its intended purpose) but I deadlifted today and here are my gnome socks. 

I clearly was going for a “as crazy as possible” look today. I look like I was drawn by Dr. Seuss. 

But I pulled 210 again and it feels solid as fuck, like, soon to up weight again solid. I’m so happy, my deadlift was my major weak point for SO long and it’s finally shaping up.

I couldn’t take selfies at the gym because people were changing (fucking basic assholes using the locker room for its intended purpose) but I deadlifted today and here are my gnome socks.

I clearly was going for a “as crazy as possible” look today. I look like I was drawn by Dr. Seuss.

But I pulled 210 again and it feels solid as fuck, like, soon to up weight again solid. I’m so happy, my deadlift was my major weak point for SO long and it’s finally shaping up.

A message from Anonymous
Approx how many calories do you aim for in a day?

I’d rather not answer this in public because while I am counting currently, some people don’t like number stuff and it can feel competitive, etc. 

Feel free to ask off anon if you like, I never publish those kinds of asks. (: 

A message from Anonymous
Did you stop doing keto.? If yes then why?

Triggered my eating disorder to come back, yo. 

I have posted a lot on how I think keto is pretty awesome if it works for you, but it didn’t for me, and that’s okay. 

A message from Anonymous
Have you always had a big butt (compliment I promise!!) or did you get it like that via weightlifting!

Lol. Uhh.

I brought this on myself and I fully accept that. 

It’s always been big. I do a lot of squats and deadlifts so those have probably helped, but they haven’t really made it bigger. 

Lessony thing: Take those “she squats” type pictures with a large rock of salt. Case in point, I have always had a big butt genetically (my whole family has it, all the women, it’s like an heirloom we pass along, ~*the family butt*~ etc) so it’s not like I “got” it from doing squats. It doesn’t aways work like that. Oftentimes I see pictures of girls with big butts and the whole “najdnfaijorjenfjc she squats brah” thing and I feel like most of the time, those girls just have bigger butts naturally.

Not that heavyweight compound exercises will HURT, but…you know. Don’t let that be a driving factor, so much of it is genetic.

tl;dr: butts. 

Today is busy and full of life admin, ugh. 

Foods: 

Breakfast: Flax protein sweet potato pancakes and chicken apple sausage

Lunch: Cottage cheese and jelly, with snow peas

Snack: Casein sludge (still not 100% with casein desserts. It’s weird.)

Dinner: I am so fucking adorable. It’s a mini flatbread pizza with mozzarella, feta, bbq chicken, red onions, and pineapple. Also sauteed brussel sprouts with Yumm sauce. 

I am driving to Portland tomorrow just to look at apartments. I am not excited; it’s SUCH a fucking waste of time for a 30 minute event. So tonight I need to wrangle printing applications and getting all that sorted. I would rather go for a run and maybe eat some cake tbh. 

My hair looked nice today and also my butt 

A message from Anonymous
How much do you weigh? :)

More than several puppies, less than several large doges.

No real talk anon, I don’t know, I got rid of my scale. I have an old stats page on my blog still I think from when this was more of a ~*weight loss blog*~ if you want a general idea. I weight a bit more than my low weight on there. Idk man.

The real question:

This halloween, should I be:

  1. Poison Ivy 
  2. Wonder Woman 
  3. Baberaham Lincoln 

I have actually wanted to be all these for years. 

Poison Ivy because I think she’s sexual as fuck (not Uma Thurman Poison Ivy get out of here with that shit), Wonder Woman because fucking Wonder Woman…

…and I just think it would be really funny to be sexy Abraham Lincoln, the way they try to make anything sexy for halloween. 

I’d straight up wear a beard, a stovepipe hat, and like, a tight black dress or something. With a bow tie. 

A message from Anonymous
You seem like a pretty chill and cool person. I'm working towards recovery too, so good luck/ kill it girl.

Thank you nice anon. c:

All the luck and good wishes ever toward you with yours.